Wednesday, October 28, 2015

On apples

In this day and age, it still amazes me that the platonic ideal of apple is a red one.  Children's books abound with trees filled with red apples or a single red apple to represent this fruit.  These books are teaching our young ones that apples are red.  Or conversely, that one should categorize apples under the "things that are red" category.

No.  Just no.  I thought at this point, we were all aware that apples should be green.  Or rather, the only kind of apple that one should concern oneself with is the Granny Smith apple.

Yes yes, a Honeycrisp or Elstar apple is a nice change of pace.  But mostly, these apples serve as a reminder of the superiority of the Granny Smith.  One just wishes he or she had been eating the Granny Smith during their consumption.

This is a most refreshing fruit - so crisp, a bit juicy, and a bit sweet, and when you are lucky, a lot a bit sour.  It is somehow quenching, providing the same relief as taking a shower does when you have been unable to do so for a few days.  I, of course, wouldn't know anything about such questionable hygiene practices.  Haha, I just cracked myself up with this statement. I know this feeling much too well.

The Granny Smith is also substantial, giving one a satisfying toothsome bite- unlike something like the clementine, which is basically just an adorable naturally packed container of juice.  It is also substantial in that it actually can fill you up, especially paired with a nice knob of cheddar cheese. This is also unlike the clementine, which in my world, is unable to actually make me feel "not hungry."  And now it occurs to me that I just compared apples to oranges.  That was actually unintentional.

Oh Granny Smith apples, you and you alone, deserve to be the apple that is ingrained in one's mind as "apple."  The platonic ideal.  The granny smith apple is everything that an apple should be. And it deserves to be recognized.

1 comment:

  1. nononooooo lol! Michael likes Granny Smith too but they're too tart for me! Give me a Gala apple any day!